Song and testimony by Hannah Almasi, Women’s Apostolic Alliance Member

[song: Hannah Almasi- I Need You]

I  feel like there are a number of people who might identify with the  season and the kind of thinking I had to walk out of that eventually saw  me write this song.

There was a time in  my life, before writing this song, where I had tried really hard to  walk through this life alone. I was convinced and believed the lie that  the enemy had whispered for so many years, that doing life alone was my  only real option. Even following God to me was something that I felt I  had to do on my own. I had tried to change my own heart and develop  godly character, I had tried to walk out of sin and sinful nature – all  without accepting the help of Jesus or those He had placed around me for  my benefit.

Around this time in my  life, I was especially critical of myself and extremely hard on myself,  particularly in moments and in areas where I felt I had fallen short and  had failed in my feeble attempts at getting healed and free from my  ‘baggage’.  

I  have since come to realise that I had been looking at the world and at  relationships through a lense of rejection, distrust and fear. 

I  love and honour my father, but unfortunately growing up, he was unable  to be the father-figure I needed, which left me with some serious  authority issues. Over time, I have come to know and understand God’s  heart for me and the purposes He has in appointing godly leadership, not  only to have people to be accountable to and to learn from, but to love  us, comfort us and guide us through the trials and tribulations that  life with Him may bring. They aren’t there to be controlling or  judgemental and they ought to be in right standing with God, not abusing  their position or influence. We need to be thankful for and utilise the  leadership God has put in place.

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  

— Isaiah 41:10

 GOD WANTS TO BE OUR EVERYTHING

He  doesn’t want us to go through anything alone. He is ALWAYS there and  gives us the grace we need to come into freedom and healing. After years  of walking through life believing that ‘alone’ was the safest and best  option for myself and those around me, I finally came to a place where  the ache in my heart and the need I had far outweighed my fears. I had  to humble myself, lay down my pride and ask God for help, and it was  only then that I started to see real freedom and breakthrough in my walk  with God.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on  your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall  direct your paths.”  

— Proverbs 3:5-6

‘I  Need You’ is one of the very first songs that God gave me. I didn’t  know much at the time, but I knew that I needed Him. I prayed and asked  God to help me see this walk and this life through. I felt weary from  the battle. Coming out of the world, picking up your cross and following  Him isn’t an easy thing to do. The road is narrow. It’s a process, and  it’s a long one!

The  Lord knows our hearts. He knows when all we want to do is follow Him  and He foresees all of the obstacles and temptations in our way. We need  Him to help us see it through. Sometimes we can feed our emotions by  giving into negative thoughts, and carrying guilt and shame of the past,  and often we give into the lies of the enemy. We can’t do it alone, we  NEED Him to take our hand and lead us through the fight.

Because, the fight IS on.

Not  only is there a battle going on in our minds, but also there is a war  in the spiritual realm every day for our souls. We can’t stay in pride  and have a mindset that we can go through any part of life alone, we  must humble ourselves and ask for His help. When we humble ourselves  before our Lord, He is faithful to show us grace, to show us mercy and  to fight the battles we face.

‘I  Need You,’ has been my prayer, and my hope for you, whatever the season  you may find yourself in, is that this too would become your prayer. 

Reach out, know and trust that the God of the heavens will take your hand and help you see it through.

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,  for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I  will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest  upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in  needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am  weak, then I am strong.”  

— 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

In Love,

Hannah Fay.